Contributed by John Drumm, Shinnyo-en USA New York Youth Association
Recently I had the opportunity to attend the IPTP #3 New York Leadership Retreat from June 21st to June 22nd, and it was in many ways not what I expected.
My name is John, I live in the greater Boston area, and I practice at the New York Temple. I was connected to the teaching through my fiance about three and a half years ago. I would say firstly my intention was to learn about this practice as it is such a huge part of her and her whole family’s lives. At the time, she was beginning to practice more regularly after graduating from college. She moved into a leadership role and got her footing, and has grown explosively ever since. For me, I think the last two years have been circling the proverbial tree line looking for the avenue into the teaching that looked perfectly sized for me. I have spent time practicing less, pushed myself too far at times, and overall perhaps found myself circling all the way back to where I started. I think just before attending the retreat, I was met with some frustrations that I wasn’t sure how to deal with.
Growing up, my family belonged to an Episcopal church, which is pretty relaxed compared to some other more strict western religions. They were open to more different ideas but everyone there definitely believed in God; how he created the universe, has a meticulous plan for everyone to test them, help them grow, and with absolute faith in him, you can enter Heaven in the afterlife. With two older brothers, me starting to question, push back, and eventually move away from regularly attending, it felt like the first time I really did something without following their lead. I just didn’t believe that I believed in a god or that I needed to follow their rules in order to be a good person. I don’t know how my assertion affected my family for sure, but my brothers and my mom slowly went to church less and less. Now, we don’t even say grace before meals on Easter or Christmas.
Fast forward to the present and I feel sort of similar. I have come to realize that faith can be such a powerful thing, giving people the strength to do absolutely inhuman things out of sheer will power. For me, however, I think prayer is so important. I find myself putting my positive energy into words and out to the universe constantly throughout the day. The letters packed with love, care, and thought towards other people were packaged and sealed, sent confidently into the mailbox with no address listed. I feel confident that they will end up in places they are supposed to.
So naturally, I think I find some of the practices confusing. I really see the value in giving, I see the value in chanting, I see the value in spreading this wonderful teaching, but it definitely feels like something is missing. It’s really when beliefs get larger than myself and my control that I start to feel lost. How does anyone know any of this stuff going on outside of themselves, outside of the people around them? What happens when you pray, when you die, who’s behind the scenes? So getting into the actual purpose of this article, I feel as though this retreat has given me solid footing towards the eventuality of planting my roots down in the lush forest of Shinnyo-en.
The goal of the retreat was to learn and hone leadership skills inside and outside of our practice. I was really excited to have more opportunities to get involved that were more focused on applying Shinnyo-en principles outwardly, into the community. I felt excited to have a tangible way to contribute to better things around me.
Long distance practitioners like me were arranged to travel the day before so four of us Boston YAs piled in the car and headed to New York. First thing in the morning was heading to Cranberry Lake Preserve to assist in the removal of invasive plants along hiking trails. For me, this broke the ice. The heat reducing everyone down to their primal instincts meant that we naturally looked to form a pack in order to survive. It also proved to be a sample of how people can approach tasks differently and fall into different roles towards the same goal. Around midday, we finished up our work at the preserve and headed to the Stony Point Center where the bulk of the retreat would take place.
The Stony Point Center is a facility open to different communities to stay and come together. Complete with overnight rooms, conference rooms, and wonderful food with big tables to fit extra practitioners and lose track of time talking about this or that. After we settled in and had lunch, the retreat shifted gears. Our bodies had been put to work, so the next 24 hours were our brains!
We began with our Home Groups, smaller breakout groups for discussion. In these groups we learned and reflected throughout the weekend and became very close as a result. We learned the framework for what it takes to be a good leader, what it takes to set up a service project like the one at Cranberry Lake Preserve, and how we plan to use what we learned there to improve our local sangha and our personal practice. We listened to three community leaders with very different backgrounds to hear about their experiences being a leader. Similarly, we heard from three practitioners from the parent division and how they marry their practice with their life and their local community. We really were given so much wonderful food for our brain to take home and reflect for weeks and weeks, it was almost overwhelming.
I think one of my biggest takeaways was how and why I should be getting involved. We learned how, as a leader, you can hone your skills to become more effective. However the creativity and open mindedness can diminish over time. So even if there are exceptional leaders in place, fresh new leaders have so much value! Additionally, not just being a leader, but speaking up has a lot of value. Having the courage to speak your mind. As the retreat went on, I felt more and more comfortable joining in discussions.
Before this experience, I believed that the teaching almost belonged to other practitioners and I was a guest. While I think this can encourage me to be open minded and reverent, I think it also kept me from forming any strong connection to the teaching. I think I didn’t realize how much of a two-way street it can be. As the discussions began, I noticed that once someone spoke up, it seemed like everyone had a second to organize their ideas or one idea would lead them into another. I tried to speak up with something short to get the ball rolling and there was almost always someone there to pick it up. Soon after, I found myself not even doing that because other people were so ready to join in. Instead of feeling like I should wait to be sure I understood and didn’t say something silly, I felt affirmed to share myself and contribute my efforts. Connecting with these other practitioners felt like me getting closer and closer to the teaching on a few different levels. I think the reason for this is that, while everyone certainly has their own path and relationships with the teaching, sharing your experience can help someone reflect on their practice. It can inspire them almost without you even realizing.
“A candle loses nothing by sharing its light with others; the light given off together is greater than the light given off by one” -Master Shinjo
Another topic we touched on that really spoke to me was “How can you create a project like this and make it sustainable?” Establishing a relationship with an organization, researching, and asking what they need volunteer efforts towards, and then following through in a way that both parties will want to work towards another project. Maybe this was the tangible outlet I believe I was looking for, somewhere to send my efforts and positivity. It certainly feels in my hands to try.
I think that also the six speakers had such diverse backgrounds and relationships to the teaching, it really drove it home for me that “I belong here, too.” Hearing how some of them demonstrated core principles of the teaching in their daily life affirmed that the way I was naturally inclined to practice might be different but valid. There it was, a heart shaped rock carefully nestled in between the roots of a Banyan tree almost intentionally marking this metaphorical pathway. These things all together tied with a bow for me. There may as well have been a neon sign the whole weekend and paid actors to engineer this whole event just to help me put these pieces together. It really helped me to better understand my value and validated the path that seems for me. A path of being around people who also have their own barriers to overcome. Sharing our experiences to help us better understand and overcome our adversities and give depth to the things we feel we already have figured out.
I definitely know this wasn’t just for me. The content from the retreat seemed to speak to so many other people. The end of the retreat wasn’t a somber note. I could feel that everyone was warm and excited. And on the ride home, I didn’t talk about the retreat nearly as much as I thought I would. My brain was just teeming, processing all the energy and ideas. I can’t wait to see what the other practitioners pursue in the future and how it differs from what I look to work towards. Seeing the other branches sprouting up around me as I grow too. I’m smiling just thinking about it.
Enjoy more photos from the IPTP #3 in New York here.